How Not To Start An Urban Fantasy Novel

[nevanna]

Occasionally, my workplace makes advance review copies of books available for the taking. When I picked up an ARC of Charming, by Elliott James, which will be released in September, the back cover told me the following:

What if there was more than one Prince Charming? What if there was a whole line of Charmings going back far into history – each one with a mission to rid the world of evil. And what would happen if one of them is cursed… Meet John Charming. He isn’t your average prince.

On the one hand, I suspected (correctly) that our hero was going to be another variation on the sardonic loner embittered and burdened by his Dark Past, in the Harry Dresden mold. On the other hand, it’s not as if I have any outright objection to characters written in that mold, and there was, and still is, a chance that this book might contain some fun “fairy tale creatures in the modern world” action.

However, the introduction, or “prelude,” contains this passage:

Well, there’s something going on right in front of your face that you can’t see right now, and you’re not going to believe me when I point it out to you. Relax, I’m not going to provide a number where you can leave your credit card information, and you don’t have to join anything. The only reason I’m telling you at all is that at some point in the future, you might have a falling-out with the worldview you’re currently enamored of, and if that happens, what I’m about to tell you will help you make sense of things better.

The supernatural is real. Vampires? Real. Werewolves. Real. Zombies, Ankou, djinn, Boo Hags, banshees, and so on and so on, all real. Well, except for Orcs and Hobbits. Tolkien just made those up.

I know it sounds ridiculous. How could magic really exist in a world with an Internet and forensic science and smart phones and satellites and such and still go undiscovered?

The truth is that the world is under a spell called the Pax Arcana, a compulsion that makes people unable to see, believe, or seriously consider any evidence of the supernatural that is not an immediate threat to their survival.

First of all, all of this could just have easily been imparted through narration or dialogue further down the line. Second of all… no, we’ll leave aside the mass mind control for now. It’s just a creepier version of the routine mind-wipes that recur in speculative fiction.

However, there’s a third level of frustration to this introduction, which Rogan of baaing_tree very wisely pointed out. When I was ranting about the beginning of this book, I said, “No, it doesn’t sound ridiculous, because I’ve read urban fantasy before.” And Rogan made an even more important point: that, by writing a world that is like ours, but with supernatural creatures, an author is implicitly asking readers to suspend their disbelief, even if those readers are new to the genre. He or she trusts that, by reading this genre in the first place, we have enough imagination to accept this alternate reality. And while it may be a shock to some characters, it's not going to be a shock to us, because of our basic expectations going in.

This particular author, through his narrator, is not only info-dumping something that should be obvious, but addressing readers as if we don’t have enough imagination (or, if we do, it’s been magically inhibited). It’s one thing for a work of speculative fiction to imply that I, as a mundane human being without magical abilities or qualities, am – by nature, design, or both – ignorant, close-minded, and incapable of believing or considering that the supernatural might exist. It’s quite another for a narrator to tell me this, point-blank, to my face.

I did not get past the first two or three chapters of Charming, between the clunky exposition and the paint-by-numbers main character. If, at any point, I decided to continue, it would be either to see if it's worthy of an MST-style sporking, or to find out if the use of mass mind control to keep the populace oblivious is ever going to be challenged or subverted (which rarely happens, even in books that I really like). I would absolutely be willing to modify or withdraw my criticisms if the book ends up going in that, or any other, interesting direction. However, this introduction was not a very promising start: it was unnecessary, clumsy, and condescending, and there are much more effective ways to present a world or endear readers.

Comments

[hexeengel.livejournal.com]

While I don't object to the premise (and even find some validity to it, unseen worlds of which the general populace is ignorant/unaware), you're right, the execution sounds clumsy and perhaps condescending. If this were a reader's first UF novel, though, it might work on them. If the MC is still processing this new worldview when we as readers join the story, I can imagine that attitude from them (the MC), but then the rest of the novel would be hard to pull off with that as a starting point.

If you do manage to get through it I'd be interested to find out how it progresses.

[collectively.livejournal.com]

Besides all the very valid points you make here, this sort of setup seems stupid to me because, um...there are PLENTY of people who believe in the supernatural, even if it is not an immediate threat to their survival. I mean, I guess it isn't that way in this book's universe, but if the author is trying to so hard to make that universe believably more or less the same as ours... Anyway, even with that aside, I grok your frustration. I hate when authors talk down to their readers. (But I would read the hell out of a spork of this book, if you felt like doing it!)

[lisefrac.livejournal.com]

I can see what you mean about that. It would be like starting a traditional fantasy novel with, "You aren't going to believe it, but this takes place in some place other than the real world. Wild, huh?"

[lb-lee.livejournal.com]

Still hoping to finagle you into reading Book Twinkie.

COME ONNNN IT'LL BE FUN.

--Rogan

[beccadg.livejournal.com]

...it’s not as if I have any outright objection to characters written in that mold...

Okay. I love Harry Dresden, and was beginning to wonder if I should take, "in the Harry Dresden mold," as my cue to stop reading right there.

...all of this could just have easily been imparted through narration or dialogue further down the line.

I think the point to having it up front rather than "further down the line" was to give the reader the feeling they were being let in on the Big Secret from the start, instead of having to figure it out as they went along. Some people will undoubtedly find it far more comforting than having to figure it out as they go along. Given some of them undoubtedly find picking it up later in "narration or dialogue" frustrating. The introduction seems to be written for people who prefer, "Thank God that's out of the way," to "Why the Hell couldn't he have mentioned that sooner?"

It’s just a creepier version of the routine mind-wipes that recur in speculative fiction.

That's not how I see it at all. I see it as providing an actual explanation for how magic in that urban fantasy setting is a Big Secret. While I enjoy a number of urban fantasy stories that never bother to explain how/why normals/mundanes/muggles don't know/can't know about magic, it is nice to hear about an urban fantasy book that actually provides an explanation as to how magic is a Big Secret.

This particular author ... is not only info-dumping something that should be obvious...

Ah, I don't believe it's accurate to say that what the author has info-dumped is "something that should be obvious." It could be an urban fantasy world were magic isn't a Big Secret, or one that doesn't bother to explain how magic is a Big Secret. The author has taken the time to explain upfront that a) his urban fantasy world is one where magic is a Big Secret, and b) it is one in which there is an actual explanation as to how magic is a Big Secret. Neither of those points are ones that a reader should simply know from having, "read urban fantasy before."

...but addressing readers as if we don’t have enough imagination...

And I don't believe he's addressing the readers as if they, "don't have enough imagination." I think he is addressing the readers as if they aren't privy to the exact nature of his world, which they aren't prior to their reading what he has to say about his world. I think it's about knowledge, rather than imagination.

It’s quite another for a narrator to tell me this, point-blank, to my face.

You've already said yourself, "He or she trusts that, by reading this genre in the first place, we have enough imagination to accept this alternate reality." I don't see how the author spelling out how his alternate reality works upfront implies that you lack the imagination to accept it. If anything, I think his bring the reader in on the Big Secret from the beginning, and explaining to them how that secret is kept, are acts of trust. It says, "I don't have to string you along building up to the reveal of the Big Secret, and I can give you the 'how' of the Big Secret upfront, even if I can't give you the 'why.'"

...or to find out if the use of mass mind control to keep the populace oblivious is ever going to be challenged or subverted...

One of the many ways this book sounds intriguing to me, along with it simply being urban fantasy with a leading man in mold I like, is that it raises the question of whether or not he'll get around to why the Pax Arcana is in place. I mean the Pax explains how magic is a Big Secret in his world, but not in and of itself why. Is there a reason for it? Is that reason one that shouldn't be "challenged or subverted?" I definitely find those questions interesting.