Nevanna's Forest of Stories

I wrote about Dracula Daily and whatever was going on between Doctors Seward and Van Helsing.

I wrote about my fondness for Rupert Giles, in the wake of Anthony Stewart Head's death earlier this year.

In honor of Bilbo and Frodo Baggins' birthday on September 22, I shared a picture of one of my first stuffed animals, which I named Bilbo.

I shared (some of) my thoughts about Stranger Things, including the fifth and final season.

As some of you already know, I’ve thus far spent most of my time in the Heated Rivalry fandom constructing a vampire AU based almost entirely on self-indulgent enthusiasm, Psychic Boyfriend feelings, and the question, “Which of the hockey lads would make the most sense as a vampire – with telepathic powers, of course – and why is it Ilya?” Although I had the idea before I read a single one of the books on which the show is based, quite a few moments from those books (one of them in particular, and not necessarily either of the ones you might assume) have contributed to my vision for this universe. Here are five of my favorites.

1.

Ilya growled and pressed his mouth harder to Shane’s skin. He sucked hard enough that, for a hysterical second, Shane wondered if he might actually be a vampire.

– Heated Rivalry

A couple of months ago, Tanoraqui/NevillesGran, who co-created The Magnusquerade, read an installment in the Vampire Hockey Diaries and sent me a screenshot of this page with the question, “Did you know this was a canon passage in the book, or did you just start this fic on vibes alone?” I confirmed that it was the latter, but did add that this passage had practically knocked me out of my seat when I read it.

2.

He’d gone from being “that sweet boy, Kyle Swift” to being a depraved sexual vampire, preying on the most respectable man in town.

– Common Goal

Kyle is a plausibly but tragically unreliable narrator about his past trauma, which is not great for either him or his present love interest, but excellent for the writer (me) who has decided that said “respectable” man is the reason why he is a vampire. It’s possible that my roots are showing (in the Magnusquerade, Jonathan Archivist Sims was also groomed and then sired by his boss), but if so, why should I bother to hide them?

3.

[Troy] collapsed on the bed and cracked open the Gatorade, wondering how Ilya knew he had been drinking alone last night.

“I saw you in the lobby with a liquor store bag,” Ilya said, as if he could read minds.

– Role Model

This is one of many, many, many instances in which Ilya has an uncanny sense of what another character is doing or feeling, but I deliberately singled out this moment – and the next one – because of the word choice.

4.

“He does not think he has a chance with you.”

“Are you psychic or something?”

“No. Just per – fuck. I forget the word already.”

“Perceptive.”

“Perceptive,” Ilya repeated. Then he said it three more times, drilling it into his brain.

– Role Model

And that was the passage that prompted me to text Elle, “TWICE IN ONE BOOK?”

5.

Harris was so good and sweet, and Troy kept feeding from him like a vampire.

– Role Model

That line cemented my plan to make Troy a member of the “We Had Terrible Vampire Sires” club, along with Ilya and Kyle. This doesn’t excuse his douchebag behavior, any more than the pressure of the closet and of socially encouraged toxic masculinity excuse similar behavior in canon. But I’m looking forward to exploring how he might end up seeking some sort of redemption despite being a literal monster instead of simply a figurative one.

As Pride Month begins, I want to acknowledge some of the formative books by and/or about queer people that I read in my youth, mostly at a point before I acknowledged that I myself probably wasn’t straight, but definitely knew what it was like to not fit in.

1. Annie On My Mind (1982) by Nancy Garden

During her first semester at MIT, Liza reflects on a romance that unfolded over the previous year, and which was complicated by a scandal that drove a wedge between Annie and herself.

In an interview that accompanied the 25th-anniversary edition of her groundbreaking novel, Garden said that reading lesbian pulp fiction and The Well of Loneliness, all of which ended in tragedy for their lesbian characters, “made me vow to someday write a book about my people with a happy ending. Annie On My Mind was that book!” She also talks about the evolution of LGBTQ+ fiction for young readers since the 1980s, and I would be very surprised if none of those later writers were similarly inspired by her work.

2. Weezie Bat (1989) by Francesca Lia Block

In a gloriously surreal version of Los Angeles, Weetzie forms a chosen family with her friend Dirk, their respective partners, and the two girls that they’re raising together.

One could technically designate Dirk as Weetzie’s “gay best friend” but I think that would be reductive, since his desires and happiness are given more or less equal narrative weight to hers. The climax of the book is actually from Dirk’s perspective, as he tracks down his love, Duck, after an AIDS scare, and they agree that despite the uncertainty that comes with their relationship, “we can’t be anywhere except together.” (My sisters and I read this book aloud to each other while on vacation last year, and we reached an unspoken consensus to give Duck the most himbo surfer voice ever.)

3. Living in Secret (1993) by Cristina Salat

When Amelia’s parents divorced, her wealthy father gained custody, but Amelia has always wished that she could live with her mother, Claire, and Claire’s girlfriend, Janey. The three of them make a plan to move to San Francisco together, but that means lying about their identities and constantly looking over their shoulders in case somebody figures out the truth and separates them again.

I definitely knew queer adults when I was a child, but I didn’t see them very often or give much thought to their personal lives, so the first time I asked my mom what “straight” and “gay” and “lesbian” meant as identities or relationships, it was because I’d read them in this book. (Since she was and is very cool, she explained the terms to me outright.) The intrigue of the story’s premise – as Amelia explores the city, makes friends to whom she has to lie constantly, and starts to consider what she might want romantically – is compelling enough on its own, but Claire and Janey’s relationship (which they have to hide from the public even in a progressive urban setting) adds texture and tension to their attempts to build a new life. Even after multiple rereads, the ending of the book has made me tear up.

4. No Big Deal (1994) by Ellen Jaffe-Gill (writing as Ellen Jaffe McClain)

Fourteen-year-old Janice’s school and hometown are shaken by rumors that her favorite teacher is gay, and when her mother joins the crusade to get Mr. Padovano fired, Janice knows that she has to stand up for what is right.

Growing up relatively sheltered in a small rural town in the pre-Internet 1990s, I learned a lot about the world and its injustices through fiction. This book gave me my first glimpse at how scary and devastating homophobic moral panics can be, both for their targets and for the surrounding community. Janice (who is plus-sized and Jewish, traits that inform her story but don’t define it) is a very sympathetic protagonist, and her rapport with Mr. P, and more fraught relationships with her mother and the school bully, are well-realized and memorable.

5. Empress of the World (2001) by Sara Ryan

During an academic summer program, aspiring archaeologist Nic falls for a beautiful dancer named Battle and faces the exhilaration and heartbreak of young love.

Although the romance between the two girls is well-written and compelling, some of my favorite scenes in Ryan’s debut novel focus on the dynamics among their friend group, which reminded me of some of my most nostalgic summer camp memories. Battle is the main character of a companion novel, The Rules For Hearts, which also offers some enjoyable and engaging moments but has a very different tone and appeal.

Honorable Mention: The Alice series (1985-2013) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

Although Naylor did introduce a lesbian side character around the midpoint of her long-running series, I primarily wanted to shout it out because of Elizabeth, one of Alice’s best friends. Although Liz never identifies as any variety of queer that I can recall, I saw a lot of my own feelings – which later led me to realize that I’m on the ace spectrum – reflected in her ambivalence toward sex and relationships. I still hope to write a longer essay on this topic someday.

I think that it’s safe to say that Five Things is one of my favorite storytelling formats as both a fanfiction reader and writer. When I look at the fandoms in which I’ve posted the most works on AO3, at least one fic in each category uses this structure in some form (and there are several ways to approach it!). But I also want to acknowledge some of my favorite offerings by other writers over the years, and although I missed my chance to share this list on the fifth day of the fifth month (life, as they say, has been lifing), I wanted to note that the appropriateness did occur to me.

1. Chess Problems by Penknife (X-Men movieverse)

In this series of vignettes, Penknife – one of my favorite writers from the old-school X-Men movie fandom – imagines alternative first meetings or life trajectories for two characters with an already long and complex history, exploring what would have changed, and what might not have, if even one step on their separate and shared journeys had been different.

2. Consanguinitas by Selena K (Torchwood)

The Children of Earth miniseries introduced a number of memorable new characters to the Torchwood universe, including Jack Harkness’s daughter Alice, who – since Jack doesn’t age – is at least as old as he appears to be when we meet her. To say that their relationship is complicated would be an understatement, and Selena has done a fantastic job of unpacking those complexities. I don’t think anybody will be surprised to know that the third section is my favorite (and I was thrilled to discover that a remix from Jack’s perspective exists and is linked in the endnotes), but the whole story accomplishes what I frequently love to see in fanfic: an exploration of family relationships that evolve under extraordinary circumstances.

3. The Short List by victoria p (Supernatural)

I started reading victoria’s blog because we had other fandoms in common, but back when almost all of my Supernatural knowledge was secondhand (which a lot of it still is), a significant amount of that knowledge came from her fanfic and other assorted posts. She wrote a pretty extensive AU in which Sam Winchester was a cis woman but much of her backstory unfolded as it did in canon (apart from her romantic and sexual entanglement with her brother Dean, which is obviously not canon), and although I felt pretty neutral about most of the entries in that series, I found this little story particularly striking, probably because it combines the Five Things device with an outsider POV, which is one of my other very favorite tropes.

4. Training and Development by NevillesGran (The Magnus Archives)

By the author’s own admission, this is only “sort of” a Five Things fic, but I wanted to represent TMA on this list, and I’m beyond happy to do so through an entry in the shared vampire AU to which we both contributed. The story offers plenty of cruelty from vampire bureaucrat Elias and defiance from Melanie as his thrall, which were two of the things that drew me irresistibly to this world in the first place.

5. Doubt of the Benefit by an_sceal (Cobra Kai)

Although the first season of Cobra Kai establishes that Johnny Lawrence had never heard of Terry Silver (the villain from the third Karate Kid movie, who also eventually turns up on the show), this story – and the ones that follow in the series – stem from the idea that they did in fact know each other, in some very intimate, traumatic ways. It’s an emotionally tough read, but Johnny’s narrative voice, dynamics with the other characters, and understandably skewed perspective on his own horrific experiences and attempts to be a better person, are absolutely note-perfect.

In the comments of a previous Tuesday Top Five entry, I expressed interest in “a critical analysis about the lineage from paranormal romance to modern ‘romantasy’.” I was thrilled to find out that such an analysis exists in this series of Tumblr posts, which discuss some of the influences on Sarah J. Maas’ currently trendy A Court of Thorns and Roses and similar “horny fairy” books (none of which I’ve read), including both paranormal romance and urban fantasy. While I’ve heard those two genre labels expressed as if they're synonyms, they’re a Venn Diagram if anything, and before I associated the latter term with the likes of Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, I saw it linked to Charles de Lint’s Newford stories and the Bordertown series created by Terri Windling. Both projects blend the mythology of elves and other fae creatures with urban countercultures in similar ways, both of them shaped me as a person, and both get shoutouts in the Tumblr discussion that I linked earlier. So I might be a hipster fantasy reader who Liked Fairies Before It Was Cool, but I will never pretend I was the only one.

Besides the Newford and Bordertown series, here are five other books based upon fairy mythology that I loved as a child, as a teen, and into my twenties. For the purposes of this post, I’m going to use the terms fairy/faerie/fae more or less interchangeably, guided by what seem to be the authors’ own preferences.

1. The Fairy Rebel (1985) by Lynne Reid Banks

A chance meeting in the garden leads Jan to befriend a fairy named Tiki, who promises Jan what she wants most in the world. But their friendship angers the Queen of the Fairies, and her desire for revenge endangers Jan’s family years later.

The Fairy Rebel was a childhood favorite of mine, and although I have some mixed feelings about it now (among other things, the ending implies a magical cure for a human disability), I still think that Banks beautifully captured the sense of wonder at the possibility that there is a hidden world of magical beings just beyond our line of sight. Also, there is a wonderful moment near the end, in which Jan stands up to the Queen, that I still think about years later.

2. I Was A Teenage Fairy (1998) by Francesca Lia Block

Pressured into a modeling career by her overbearing mother, eleven-year-old Barbie befriends a tiny, smart-mouthed fairy named Mab, who helps Barbie face her trauma and reclaim her agency as she grows into adolescence.

I have written previously about my adolescent obsession with Francesca Lia Block’s writing; this book was published at the peak of my adoration, and contained many of the elements that made her work so appealing to me, from its command of imagery and metaphor (including several memorable passages that personify cities as magnificent women) to its dedication to taking the emotions of teenage girls seriously. (Less happily, it also contains a narrative throughline concerning child sexual abuse – mostly off-page, but it’s pretty clear what’s going on throughout.) Barbie’s experience of childhood and young womanhood were very different from my life, or any life that I expected or hoped to lead, but I definitely related to her feeling like she couldn’t please any of the adults in her life and seeking comfort in a friendship with a being that might or might not have been imaginary.

3. Extraordinary (2010) by Nancy Werlin

Privileged but kind-hearted Phoebe reaches out to Mallory, the peculiar new girl in her seventh-grade class, and six years later, the girls are best friends who share everything… or so Phoebe thinks, until she meets her friend’s very attractive, beguiling, and never-before-mentioned older brother. Mallory has a hidden agenda – suggested in ominous “Conversations with the Faerie Queen” interspersed between the chapters from her friend’s perspective – which is connected to a generational link between Phoebe’s family and the faerie realm.

Although technically the middle book in a trilogy – which begins with Impossible and concludes with Unthinkable – Extraordinary stands beautifully on my own and is by far my favorite of the three. I love the slow backstory reveal, which blends fantasy with real-life Jewish history; normally I have a pretty big problem with stories that attribute human innovation and success to extrahuman intervention, but I didn't mind it in this case. I have even more admiration for Werlin’s choice to portray the Supernatural Boyfriend (a trope that was very recognizable in the YA fiction of 2010) as manipulative and toxic, while the actual emotional payoff comes from an equally fraught but ultimately redemptive female friendship.

4. Cuckoo Song (2014) by Frances Hardinge

In the wake of the First World War – in which her brother was killed in action – Triss lives a sheltered life with respectable parents who dote on her during her frequent illnesses. At first, her recovery from an apparent near-drowning is no different, but soon Triss finds herself mysteriously shedding leaves and hungering not only for food but for objects around her house, and suspects that her family, especially her little sister, know more about what happened to her than they’re telling.

Every book that I’ve read by Frances Hardinge has been an imaginative masterpiece, but I think Cuckoo Song contains some of her best work in terms of the fantasy worldbuilding; her exploration of the characters, their relationships, and the times in which they live; and how all of these elements intertwine. If you like protagonists who struggle with their own monstrous impulses, and stories that use fantasy and horror elements to explore dysfunctional family dynamics and societal upheavals, and ambiguous but hopeful endings, I recommend this book with my whole heart.

5. The Darkest Part of the Forest (2015) by Holly Black

For the humans who live in the secluded village of Fairfold, an uneasy coexistence with fae creatures is part of everyday life. Like their neighbors (as well as the tourists who understand the charms but not the dangers of Fairfold), Hazel and her brother Ben are perpetually fascinated by the mysterious boy with pointed ears and horns who sleeps in a glass coffin in the woods, but their years of daydreaming can’t prepare them for the day that he’s released, for the even more dangerous creature that threatens their community, or for the secrets that the siblings have hidden from each other and themselves.

Holly Black has been publishing contemporary fantasy about the faerie folk since the early 2000s, and although Darkest Part takes place in the same universe as her popular Folk of the Air series (of which I’ve read some but not all), it tells a self-contained story that I actually like a whole lot better. I love how the author portrays the terrifying nature of the Folk and the idiosyncrasies of life in Fairfold; I love Hazel’s character development, her relationship with Ben, and the revelations about her past. Although Black's navigation of Supernatural Boyfriend tropes isn't subversive like I consider Werlin's to be, both Hazel's and Ben's romance storylines feel distinctive and original. As someone raised by artist parents in a tiny rural town, where I definitely would have loved to believed that there were mysterious creatures hiding in the woods, this story has resonated with me every time I’ve reread it.

I am pretty sure what, when I first started watching Heated Rivalry,, I said to myself, "I'm enjoying this series so far and I'm glad that the fandom is so active, but I'm not really into sports or sports romance so I don't think I'll be fannish about it." Possibly I also told you something to that effect. Time makes fools of us all, I suppose, because here I am, two months later, spending some time writing my own fanfiction (although that's set in an AU that makes shameless use of my favorite tropes) and a lot more time admiring the immense talent of other writers in this fandom.

Here are five fanfics that I've particularly enjoyed. Please heed the ratings and warnings in the AO3 headers.

1. other forms of intimacy by ultravioletdaydream

Shane and Ilya taking care of each other.

The four installments in this fanfic - two set during the show's first season, and two after - perfectly capture a series of moments in the evolution of Shane and Ilya's relationship and the growing affection and understanding between them. (Fun fact: the third section appeared on my radar because of a post about How To Believably Torment Shane Hollander, which I have kept in mind as I've set out to do exactly that.)

2. Mr. Emergency Contact by fandom_commitment_issues

Ilya Rozanov realizes he's an emergency contact in the exact moment he needs to act like an emergency contact. Hayden Pike has to release a statement about it.

"Kidfic" isn't exactly one of my go-to fannish tropes, but I was both entertained and moved by the way this story took a premise that even the writer admits is "crack treated seriously" (Ilya has to pick up the child of Shane's friend and teammate from school in the middle of the day) and ran with it. In addition to Ilya's grouchiness at Hayden for putting him in this position, and the adorable moments in which he and the sick little girl negotiate snacks, movies, and medicine-taking, I always like when fanfic delves into the public perception of the Hockey Lads and the lives that they lead, and that's a big part of how this fic unfolds. I also love how readily Ilya calls on Shane's mom for advice, and how she helps him without hesitation.

3. Knowing by toomuchplor

Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are not Scott's problem. That's all there is to it.

I always love a well-written outsider POV, and this story explores Scott Hunter's perspective on Shane and Ilya's (very unsuccessful) attempts to be sneaky, while Scott himself is falling for Kip and dealing with the pressure of the closet. Their scenes together are sweet and sexy and funny, but also include a very believable argument and attempt at compromise. Also, Ilya continues his tradition, established in the books (none of which I'd read when I first encountered this fic), of showing up in the middle of other hockey players' romantic drama to be a hilarious menace.

4. hayden needs to take a minute by profdanglais

Hayden's curiosity gets the better of him and he ends up learning more about his best friend than he needed to know.

At the end of Heated Rivalry The Book, Hayden figures out that Shane and Ilya are together, but it has yet to happen in the show, so in the meatime, fanfic writers have, naturally, taken it upon themselves to write their own versions of how it might happen. I love all of the character voices in this little story, and although Shane is not the Game Changers character whom those in the know would likely associate with Steve Rogers, the mention of his "Captain Frown" inevitably reminds me of The Ballad of Captain America's Disapproving Face.

5. knockout by PenAndInkPrincess

(in which Ilya learns that being a passenger in the car knocks Shane tf out)

I was completely charmed by this post-canon character and relationship study, which affirms that even long-established partners can learn things about each other.

In recognition of the Trans Day of Visibility, here are five trans or nonbinary Makers of Stuff whose work I admire. This is not an exhaustive list. All of the links offer ways to give the creators money, if you are so inclined.

1. Harmony Colangelo co-hosts This Ends At Prom, a podcast that discusses movies about and/or marketed toward teen girls, alongside her wife BJ. I enjoy their conversations so much that I’ve listened to episodes about movies that I haven’t actually seen, but I might have also listened to their episode on Scream multiple times, not only because I like the movie but because I love how much they love it.

2. Jay Edidin has co-hosted the podcast Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men for over a decade. Although I’m only an occasional listener these days, I’ve continued to vocally and financially support what he and his podcasting partner (and their team) have have created, in terms of both critical analysis and entertainment. Jay also designs T-shirts that can be found on TeePublic here; I bought the "follow your weird heart" one the last time they had a sale.

3. Jude Doyle has published book-length nonfiction, both before and after transitioning, but also hosts a newsletter/column about media and pop culture. I linked to his essay "Broken Watch" in a previous Top Five entry, but as someone who has a lot of mixed feelings about "Problematic Faves" discourse, I also appreciated "Reading Rainbow: On problematic feminists and what queer people are allowed to read."

4. Kat Blaque’s catalog of YouTube videos is extensive, and I can’t guarantee that I’d love or agree with everything that she produces, but I did enjoy her review of the Fifty Shades of Grey movie, which she explored through the lens of her experience in real-life kink spaces. (Her opinions are a bit more nuanced than "Fifty Shades doesn't reflect real BDSM at all.")

5. Spider Perry helps to run NerdyKeppie, a small company in the Pacific Northwest that makes Pride-themed clothing, accessories, home goods, and other trinkets. I have bought numerous gifts for myself and others from them.