Mysterious Things in the Dirt

[nevanna]

I tried to start a new fic last Friday, and did manage to scribble down a few paragraphs, but right now, it feels simultaneously like a dreaded chore and an inappropriate indulgence.

I'm trying to tell myself that this lapse in motivation won't last forever, to believe posts like this one, which compares imagination to a field between harvests (this is amusingly appropriate since some of my fandom friends refer to certain types of writing as "worms"). And I did manage to write a couple of very tiny ficlets for fandomgiftbasket, which I hope to share as soon as the event wraps up.

It's still discouraging to feel like I have to make myself engage in a hobby that I love, and to entertain the possibility that I might have outgrown fandom altogether, even if I don't want that to be true.

Comments

[beccadg]

It's still discouraging ... to entertain the possibility that I might have outgrown fandom altogether, even if I don't want that to be true.

As someone who writes both fandom and original, I can offer that sometimes fandom will go dormant on me, even for years, only to come roaring back with a fresh adaptation, revival, or the like that pulls me back in. With Marvel the MCU got me back in after more than a decade away, and with Doctor Who the revival did the same. You might be at a place where you're feeling like you're out, but it could just be lying dormant, waiting for that next big spark. Original writing is different, and for me it feels like work as often as not. The muses are all over without a solid source of inspiration.

[nevanna]

Thank you for the solidarity, Becca. I think I'm most frustrated by the fact that I actually do have ideas, but the motivation to actually put them on paper feels elusive. Still, I definitely recognize the waxing and waning fannish excitement that you're talking about, so I appreciate the reminder to be patient. <3