nevanna: (Default)
Handed in classification assignment. I know I did poorly and guessed on most of the answers, and I'm just going to have to live with that. I am having the usual anxieties about whether I'm competent enough or committed enough to pursue this degree or this career. My housemates and friends were, as usual, nothing but kind, supportive, and understanding during my freakouts, and so certain vampiric voices in my head who've insisted that my friends would not want to be around me after seeing me at my worst? Can shut right up. No, I mean now.

Yesterday, while I was working on the assignment, I was wearing my pink T-shirt with the heart-shaped "Recycle" symbol on the front and the words "Bring Back the Love" on the back. Some of you already know the story behind that shirt. I bought it back in 2009 because both the symbol and the sentiment reminded me of a fandom-related project in which my closest friends and I were investing a great deal of creative and emotional energy. During that year, I also maintained a full course load (including a math class, a subject that has never come easily to me), as well as a part-time job, for both my spring and fall semesters. Over the summer in between, I took an online class and worked full-time. I made straight A's all across the board.

I'm not saying that I was never frustrated or distracted, but the point is, I was more than capable of balancing my work with my fannish/creative pursuits. In fact, the latter probably complemented the former and gave me the strength that I needed to deal with my academic and everyday challenges. Both were immensely important to me, just in different ways, and this was all right. This was the best of all possible worlds.

I don't know why I've had so much difficulty maintaining a similar balance throughout this past semester. But I know, because I remember, that it's not fundamentally impossible for me to juggle multiple priorities in different realities. I often tend to look back on my fandom experiences in terms of mistakes that I try (with varying degrees of success) to avoid repeating, and while I accept the value of learning from the times I've stumbled, that doesn't mean I can't also learn from my successes. So maybe it's time to look back and try to figure out the things that I did right, because it's pretty obvious that there were a few of them.

And just for the record? Even after all this time, I still look back on the fandom-related project in question with a profound, if occasionally bittersweet, fondness. The love never really left.
nevanna: (Default)
This is my [ profile] hc_bingo card:

*** )

I will be attempting a cross (the center horizontal and vertical lines). I've already come up with ways to make all of these prompts work with my focus fandoms. (I might also include some "extras" - stories that incorporate two or more prompts at once - for extra chewy goodness.) I considered attempting an envelope (all outside squares and an X through the center), or even a full blackout, but ultimately decided against it, because it included some prompts that simply did not interest me; that would work much better in other fandoms; or that required more setup and consideration than I felt I could give them during the 30-60 minute time limit that Blogathon demands.

It is this last point that I would like to expand upon below. I'll admit to being late to the [ profile] hc_bingo party. Consequently, I have not read the entire discussion that resulted from some inadvertent fail on the part of the mods, and from the fact that the very nature of the challenge can be considered controversial. In my (probably simplified) understanding of the debate, it involves the ways in which the use of the "hurt/comfort" trope potentially trivializes real-life traumas or difficulties, glorifies or romanticizes them, and/or uses them for the purpose of titillation. Despite the fact that this debate does not apply to most of the prompts I've chosen, it still interests me, which is why I'm addressing it here. And I am not even being sarcastic when I say that I recognize my own privilege, the things that I am fortunate enough not to have experienced, and am going to try not to let it rain all over everything.

I highly recommend [ profile] friendshipper's metametameta essay (which would make this… what? Metametametameta?), and I just want to say WORD to every single bit of it, because it's one of the posts that doesn't say, "Don't use these ideas in your writing," but rather, "Use these ideas responsibly."

When Real Things Happen To Fictional People: my two cents. Cut for triggery words and ideas, and a lot of disclaimers. )
nevanna: ([Death Note] sunset)
Okay, so, Recycled Notes, because it counts as a whole 'nother fandom by now, and is kind of immensely important to me...

It is, as previously mentioned, an InsaneJournal/LARP game in which a few friends and I have been engaging; it is based on the reincarnation RPs that, to the best of my recollection and [ profile] mllelaurel's, were [ profile] khirsah's brainchild: The Phoenix Effect, Eternal City, Shadowlands... [ profile] mllelaurel was a participant in all three, around 2005-2006, and shared various themes and details with me, and - perhaps more importantly - with [ profile] wired_lizard.

The premise: The cast of Death Note has been reincarnated in the modern-day United States - new bodies, new lives, new names, new memories. Most of them do not know each other at first, and all of them begin this life without any knowledge of the previous one. So far so good?

Until, that is, a particular set of circumstances - meeting someone whom they knew from before, for instance, or an experience or thought process that hits a little too close to home - "awares" them; that is, triggers the return of the memories.

The characters... )


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